"TRANSITION & TRUST"

The only thing we can be sure of is change.  Haven't we all heard that phrase before?  But try as we may, when that inevitable change occurs we're filled with a terrifying fear, often times to the point of immobilization.  How is it that a natural state of being such as change can be so scary?  Is there some vast misconception regarding our basic human nature?  Do we believe it's best for things to stay the same?  Do we get comfortable and simply crave that particular zone all the time?  Or is it just too difficult for us to acknowledge and trust the ebb and flow of life?

After experiencing a great deal of change throughout my own life I'm happy to report I've learned a few things.  One simple, yet rather daunting truth I've come face to face with is that I can go through change in a positive place of acceptance and trust, or I can fight it all the way in that desperate state of fear and negativity.  I have to say the first choice feels better.  Actually, come to think of it, that's an understatement.  But dont get me wrong here, my own default button was set on fear for years, during which these two polarities were hot wired together creating my all too familiar rollercoaster existence; Barry's Big Adventure.  I thought my life was supposed to be dramatic.  I even majored in it in college.  I paid a lot of money to be dramatic; little did I know. 

Having just gone through a huge life transition, I got to ask myself many questions about my own existence on a daily basis.  I had the opportunity after working almost twenty years straight to take some time off and take a deep look into my life, challenging many of my long held beliefs about living in this world.  The biggest question I had was, "why the long standing resistance to change?"  Websters dictionary defines the word "change" as follows, "to be or cause to be different; alter".  Could change be so challenging because it brings up the most basic question regarding life which Shakespeare so notably asked, "To be or not to be?"  When change is thoroughly examined we have the opportunity to look not only at who we are, but who we've been, what we've done and where we're heading.  Often times we discover that who we are now is not who we were before, so any number of things were involved in no longer make sense for us in the present.  It could be the person we're dating doesn't hold our attraction anymore, or the career we started at twenty no longer feels right for us at forty.  Things change, and at the base of it all we're the ones changing.  It's happening inside us, as opposed to happening to us.  And perhaps God has something else in store.  I've found through my own experience it's usually something better.  I had a tendency in the past to think I knew better than God.  I've got a very strong will, but inevitably, when I get out of my own way, or let go and let God, everything just magically unfolds.   Of course, that means I have to trust, which requires sending my ego away to pout in a corner.  It doesn't like it when I get so smart.

One thing I know I can trust is change.  It's a universal truth that keeps on giving.  The real challenge I've found is learning acceptance and willingness.  Here's where I believe we get caught in a trap.  See, the ego part of our thinking mind wrecks havoc with our happiness.  Let's face it, if we all just accepted everything as is, without judgments, and turned our willfulness over to our higher power, we'd probably be living in bliss right now.  When you look at our culture, were addicted to suffering.  It plays out in our real life dramas between loved ones, business associates, countrys and ultimately within ourselves, not to mention its total infusion of our media, be it the news, magazines, radio, television or film.  I'm not judging these mediums, because they simply represent the main cultural energetic.  We need to go below the surface and look at why?  This is our shared energy, the source from which most of us feed our daily existence; more specifically, it's where our mind picks up most of the stored information which ultimately directs the way we live.  We learn from our parents, our schools, our peers, the media and just about anything we lay our eyes on.  A closer examination of our sources usually reveals a barrage of recycled information tinged with the judgments of the outlets from which we receive the data.  To me, this awareness requires a great deal of personal responsibility.  How do we filter for truth and take in what the outer world presents us, without losing not only the truth, but our true selves in the process? 

So why go on talking about mental programming with regards to transition and change?  Well, its important to look at since many people don't question what they take in.  They don't question their sources, and hence their own existence and ultimately how they might change to make it better.  Some people actually don't think they can improve their condition, whatever that might be.  Now don't get me wrong, our culture has it's own definition of "better", and it usually means more; more material possessions, a bigger house, a better car, this particular designer something.  It's all external.  You should want this because it will make your life so much better.  It feeds our ego, but not our soul.  This type of "better" stays in business by ignoring our real selves and guiding our focus to an external source of striving.  If you want to feel better you'll need to go buy something or look a certain way, or act in a manner completely foreign to your natural state.  It's all fake.  It's a big sham and a formula for unhappiness, because as anyone whos ever gone down that path can tell you, it just isn't the road to real joy and true happiness.  Those qualities don't cost a thing.  They're ours for the taking, should we choose. 

It's interesting to note our consumerism and materialism is actually creating a toxic environment here in America, making many of us sick.  Dr. Peter Whybrow, M.D., a UCLA professor of psychiatry has written a new book entitled, "American Mania: When More Is Not Enough".  Dr. Whybrow shares a variety of recent studies which indicate American men and women have the worlds highest incidence of obesity, as well as anxiety and any variety of addictive behavioral patterns due to what could now be called our deadly battle with materialism, consumerism and affluence.  The good news is we're beginning to wake up to this awareness.  True happiness is not an external commodity.  It cannot be bought or sold.  Happiness is an inside job.  We tap into our happiness reserve by going inside, not out.  No amount of anything bought or consumed will change that; now who says fate doesn't have a sense of humor?  We may actually be healthier and happier when we have less.  Think about that for a minute or two. 

Meanwhile, here's what I view as the catch with life transitions.  Whenever we experience change, we end up having to look at our lives.  Eventually, if we are to successfully navigate the new experiences life is handing us, we need to exercise trust.  Those two elements together can be tricky or even illusive for some, especially without a solid spiritual base, but in order to experience change with grace and ease there's got to be a strong level of trust in a higher universal ordering.  Otherwise we're living in fear and perpetuating the culturally dominant state of struggle.  I believe that within every person there's a divine blueprint or purpose, which when we connect to and follow it, we create our best lives.  Why would we be here otherwise?  Sarcasm and judgment may yield a preliminary answer, but none of which can ultimately stand the test of time.  We are each an important player on this great stage of life, and we have a responsibility to ourselves and to the world to play our part to the best of our ability.  The question then becomes how are we choosing to play, and are we willing to do the inner work necessary to bring out our best and most authentic existence?  Or will we chose to get on the same train and ride those painfully worn out old tracks built by our fear and attachment to struggle? 

When I first started looking at myself I was appalled.  Really, I would have rather done anything else other than take an honesty inventory of me.  But take stock I did, as God would have it no other way.  I had to look, ultimately, because I was overwhelmed with pain.  Pain can definitely be a teacher, though not the friendliest of sorts.  I knew there had to be a better way, and that path ended up requiring change and a whole lot of trust.  After really committing to the process of inner exploration I began to discover that in addition to all the buried pain, anger and judgments, there was a wealth of buried gold.  That treasure I discovered inside was the real me, not the person created by my ego, but the soul created by God.  I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be the person God intended me to be than the person my culturally feed ego says I should be.  Look at it this way, I used to think that because I didn't have certain culturally approved items such as a large house, luxury car and designer wardrobe, to name a few, I was less than, which translated to worth-less.  Not a pretty place to be in one's mind as it wrecks havoc with your heart.  But that's what the larger cultural consciousness told me, so it must be true; or so I thought.  I bought into the false belief that my true happiness was external, hook line and sinker.  And sink I did!  Truth of the matter is I started to experience happiness when I began looking inside myself.  Suddenly I realized I was already a wealthy man with everything I could ever need already on hand.  I got this way by being courageous and exercising my willingness to look at myself, my behaviors and to make change.  It takes a great deal of courage and a strong level of commitment to create change. 

What's miraculous about the whole process of change is how the universe steps in to support us once we decide to do the work.  My studio job of seven years ended and three months later I finished grad school.  I got a severance package and unemployment insurance.  I could never have planned that myself.  It was all divine grace.  Don't get me wrong, I had to process through a boat load of fear, lots of irrational beliefs and many judgments, but like an old friend of mine used to say, "You're only allowed two carry-on items this life time!"  I understand the importance of traveling light more and more as I continue to unload behaviors, irrational beliefs and judgments which no longer serve me.  I'm moving through my life with greater levels of ease and a lot more joy.  I'm freed up now, unencumbered by old baggage, to be the person I'm meant to be and create the life I'm destined to live.  Funny how simply life unfolds when we trust the naturally occurring process of change.  And inevitably, it ends up being for our highest good each and every time.

May you all trust yourselves, your journey and the divine beauty of who you are inside.  Remember, the treasure's already there, no need to look outside.  So turn the television off for a few minutes, put down that magazine, and spend some time with yourself by taking a long walk or writing down a few personal thoughts.  I think you'll discover the greatest entertainment value exists on the road to knowing your own soul.  No other experience could be richer than that. 

Peace, Love and Light to you all.

Barry